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pathetic piss kitten @kitten@elizabeth.cat
6mo
discussing social sexual dynamics actually caring and tending to their desire is a very effective thing one can do to try to get a top's attention

there's this common situation of people treating people who top as essentially fantasy and kink vending machines. and it's very noticeable when it happens. don't do that.
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november @november@chaosfem.tw
6mo
re: discussing social sexual dynamics @kitten A: Ugh, yes, this. I think this is the main reason why doing kink with various online strangers is like 10x more emotionally draining than doing it with partners who I know and who respect me. Also, a note for the subby heterosexual men out there, being subby does not automatically mean you aren't misogynist, actually examine how you're interacting with women
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Lis (≙) retired account @lis@luisa.is
6mo
discussing social sexual dynamics, kink perspective @kitten the same goes for dominants in kink settings. If I as a dominant am engaging in some form of play with you, I need to be prepared to help you deal with the emotional fallout of things going wrong. But are you as a submissive prepared to do the same for me? Or is your entire interest in me limited to “If I neocat_bottom hard enough I can get her to do what I want to me”?

[generic “you” of course, you have proven the opposite to me more than just once… neocat_heart_black ]
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AENS System (usually November) @aens@transfem.social
6mo
RE: discussing social sexual dynamics, kink perspective @lis @kitten A: I feel like I have relatively minimal emotional needs as a dom, I really just want my sub's thoughts on the session and to know they're okay. And if something goes wrong we can work together to fix it. But of course there's no shortage of people who don't clear even that lower bar
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Hothrin🌸 @Hothrin@transfem.social
6mo
discussing social sexual dynamics, kink perspective @kitten @lis Yeahh, I see that. One of the reason why I didn't rly feel comfy domming yet is that I kinda feel "violent" and that's not nice. A sub who can help a dom emotionally with stuff like this is probably nice... I mean, okay, the main reason why we don't dom usually is just that we're not very... good at having assertive expression, but the other reason also plays into it
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