discussing social stuff
back in the day I commented on this, but I ended up not going through with it. I think I might now, even if just briefly.so, the main thing for me is... I am not used to having to manage to this degree who "gets" to enjoy my time and attention. for me, everyone who approaches me is just another nice being who would be happy to spend time with me, so, why not try to do that? except, that time and attention happen to be quite limited
and the worst part is, it's something where "making it fair" isn't viable at all. this is not first come, first served. this is not you've done a lot for me based (please never let me get there, it'd be fucked up). it's the one thing where what I desire is what matters. and that is still difficult to accept. especially because... it's also quite irrational. it's essentially a "this being just gives off the right vibes and managed to catch my interest, even if I just met them".
to be clear, this is not something that requires any action or change from anyone. I like to see people interested in spending time with me. and I appreciate very much that being openly expressed. it's just... something that I'd like for people to know, to help understand how this all feels.
and I must say, the reason why I thought about it during this GPN is actually because... I think I've managed to get a lot better with it. I've approached the event with a lot more chill mindset, just focusing on what felt good at the time, and spending time with the people I felt like being with. there was no point where I felt socially overwhelmed. and yes, there's some other beings with whom I'd have liked to spend more time too, but... there's many of those, so that'll always be the case, I just accept that it's okay, and that there will be more chances in the future.
so... yes, happy about that.