pathetic piss kitten (@kitten)

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

there's something I meant to write about and... I'm not really sure if it's the best moment to do so, but I think it's a fairly important topic.

so, this is something I've been thinking about because of the 39c3 FLINTA cruising session, but it's very much not limited to that, nor the cause for it.

I feel this year the word got spread and it got a lot more "popular" and "known", which might have created a general feeling of FOMO, or at least that's what I perceived. so, you have this event, which everybody is talking about, everyone says how much they enjoyed it last time, all your friends are planning on going... so you end up, in a way, and through no one's fault, feeling pressured to also attend.

but the thing is this kind of stuff is not really for everyone. everyone (who is an adult who understands consent) is more than welcome, of course. no one will judge you or gatekeep access beyond that. but yeah, it's really not for everyone, and not only that, it's the kind of thing you really don't want to force yourself into

do you want to kiss a stranger? do you feel ready and capable to do so? are you able to be in a room with such many (also nervous) people? to be looked at and checked out? and approached with such a direct question as "wanna make out?" (either verbally or in other ways)?

and to be clear, while for a lot of us the answer to that is a very enthusiastic "yes!!", we might still feel a bit overwhelmed at times too. I did feel like that during the beginning of this last one because there were too many people and it was getting too warm and too much for me, for example. but yeah, the important thing here is, I knew it wasn't something I was feeling pressured to do.

so, yeah, I think this is something that maybe we should pay more attention to. it's easier said than done, but at the end of the day these things only work if we are sincere about our own desires and wants, not only to others, but specially to ourselves.

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@kitten Very much this.

Sad that I had to miss it (too late at night), I'd totally kiss a stranger in the right context. I usually don't dare ask it since I'm awkward and I don't know whether such a question would be well received. I did like the specific "rules" they put in there, the idea of non-verbal interaction like that seems hot to me. Would love to take part in it some day :)

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

and on a more "practical level" here, there's a lot of ways of handling situations where one feels that FOMO other than just not attending that stuff. like, we are all curious beings, even beyond what our specific desires might be, that is also true. but:

-it's okay if you attend and end up not making out with anyone, either because you didn't find anyone you liked, or vice versa. yeah, it sucks at the time, but it's a lot better than kissing someone you didn't want to, or being the counterpart of that.

-it's okay to just go and not try to meet anyone, just go there and watch. maybe you just wanted to see how did it go, or like the idea of witnessing such a cute and intimate situation. as long as you do it respectfully and non-creepily, it's fine, sit wherever and watch (some of us even get off on that, so, thanks!)

-it's okay to just change your mind once you're already there. maybe it wasn't as you imagined, or you aren't as ready or as desiring of that kind of interactions as you thought. no shame in reconsidering.

re: (lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@kitten One suggestion I'd like to add to the pile: if it's not your thing, but a different variation of it would work for you (eg. chatting over tea and then leaving to a private place with one or a few people when you want to go further than that, as a more cautious implementation of cruising) - you can always organize your own thing, even at the same time!

Who knows, you might find that there were other folks who also wanted something similar-but-not-quite-the-same, and address your FOMO by doing something more comfortable for all of you together 🙂 Let a thousand slightly-different events bloom!

re: (lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@joepie91 @kitten This. As a raging demi, I need something to hold onto. Just a bit of words, also to set mutual expectations. But I can swoon easily about someone who I've just exchanged a bit of words with.

Oh, and also: Caressing someone with genuine physical touch instead of awkwardly copying other people's behaviors.

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@kitten I'm actually really curious what happened there, especially considering the no sex sign(s)

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@luna kisses! and caressing! and varied kinky non-sexually-explicit stuff!

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@kitten oh I see :3

Sounds like fun

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@luna it was 💙

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@kitten @luna
The more I hear about 39c3, the more I wish I had gotten tickets

Well, maybe next year

(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising

@luna @kitten My eyes opened and my RSD started to heal a bit. That happened.

No matter how much people said it might have been a decaffeinated version of whatever else is "the right way to do cruising", for me it was an unforgettable first experience whose credit in lack of sleep hours I paid with happiness.

I need more of that, tho by living in a corner of nowhere will probably have to wait till next C3.

-- Sinn, now a certified cuddle slut