(lewd?) events, related to 39c3 FLINTA cruising
there's something I meant to write about and... I'm not really sure if it's the best moment to do so, but I think it's a fairly important topic.so, this is something I've been thinking about because of the 39c3 FLINTA cruising session, but it's very much not limited to that, nor the cause for it.
I feel this year the word got spread and it got a lot more "popular" and "known", which might have created a general feeling of FOMO, or at least that's what I perceived. so, you have this event, which everybody is talking about, everyone says how much they enjoyed it last time, all your friends are planning on going... so you end up, in a way, and through no one's fault, feeling pressured to also attend.
but the thing is this kind of stuff is not really for everyone. everyone (who is an adult who understands consent) is more than welcome, of course. no one will judge you or gatekeep access beyond that. but yeah, it's really not for everyone, and not only that, it's the kind of thing you really don't want to force yourself into
do you want to kiss a stranger? do you feel ready and capable to do so? are you able to be in a room with such many (also nervous) people? to be looked at and checked out? and approached with such a direct question as "wanna make out?" (either verbally or in other ways)?
and to be clear, while for a lot of us the answer to that is a very enthusiastic "yes!!", we might still feel a bit overwhelmed at times too. I did feel like that during the beginning of this last one because there were too many people and it was getting too warm and too much for me, for example. but yeah, the important thing here is, I knew it wasn't something I was feeling pressured to do.
so, yeah, I think this is something that maybe we should pay more attention to. it's easier said than done, but at the end of the day these things only work if we are sincere about our own desires and wants, not only to others, but specially to ourselves.
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